Jesse Finds a Friend to Help Him Go the Extra Mile
Hitting Bottom
I was going to get married but then the relationship fell apart and I was devastated. I didn't know what to do with the pain, so I turned to addictions to numb the agony. It spiraled out from there. I lost my house, my car, my friends, my family, everything. I was angry with God. I thought my addiction was helping me cope but it was actually destroying me. I hit rock bottom and ended up in prison. That was my wake up call! It forced me to see that I was ruining my life and that I didn't want to live this kind of life of addiction. I'm from St. Joseph, Missouri. I heard about the In2action program, and I wanted to be a part of that, so I went there. It seemed like an excellent way to keep working towards a better life. I met Pat, a volunteer there. He told me about Love INC's Extra Mile program, and I thought that would be another significant step towards building a new life.
Starting Extra Mile
At Extra Mile, my coach was Roger. It was new, and at first, I was unsure about things but I kept at it. I really began to hit it off with Roger. We grew closer over time. I could tell that he cared and was all in, so that motivated me too. At the beginning of the program, the exercises were games. I wasn't sure where we were going with all of this. I still remember one activity where I was to allocate a dime for each of several expenses until I had no more dimes. Then Roger told me, "now you have a sudden emergency expense where are you going to pull money from to pay for it?". That illustration stayed with me and motivated me to start a savings account and to budget.
Confidence Booster
I was a bit afraid, too, in the beginning, that Roger would just criticize me if I bought something. I had an issue with impulse buying. Instead he told me that the program was not about him telling me what to do. It was to help me intentionally decide how I wanted to spend my money and not to overspend. That way, I wouldn't get into traps like payday loans or excessive debt. One time I bought a TV from Walmart, and he asked me, "did you shop around for a good deal, did you look online or for a used TV?". Those were ideas that I had not considered. I was so used to just going and buying on impulse. Now I stop and think about how I spend and what my goals are. So, in the end, I really got it - and appreciated all the things that I was being taught. I started a budget and keeping track of all my spending, and now it is a habit. I am still doing it even though I have finished Extra Mile. It felt amazing to complete the 16-week program, it was a real boost for my confidence.
Coaching More than Teaching
Roger became a mentor to me. He was there for me through the difficulties. He kept me accountable financially. He came with me to help me buy a car that Love INC helped me find. I could count on him! Roger taught me so much more than just finance. He would ask me about my walk with the Lord. He wasn't pushy, and I needed that because of all that I had walked through. He gave me a CS Lewis book that spoke to me because CS Lewis was an atheist who journeyed back to God. Roger let me take it at my own pace, that is what I needed. He would always ask me how I was doing and how he could pray for me. So Roger was much more than just a financial teacher. He became my friend. We agreed to do another program called Beyond Extra Mile, and we hope to keep in contact in the future. Ed. note; Jesse's lives at In2Action, a faith-based re-entry program. Roger was comfortable asking about Jesse's faith in that context. Love INC does not proselytize nor make any faith requirements for services. Legitimate need is the only qualification for assistance. However, when asked about faith, some Extra Mile coaches and volunteers may share their own perspectives on the matter, much the way Jesse describes here.
Finding New Life
Extra Mile also helped me set goals for life. I've set physical fitness goals, financial goals, and career goals. It feels good to have a list and work on improving my life. I am currently working at a landscaping company part-time and working with in2action. I am also studying for my degree at MACC. In the future, my big goal, is to eventually get a Master's Degree at MU in social work. I just want to give back. Extra Mile can help you to get your life back on track, and it can help you live a more balanced, fulfilled life.